In this scenario, a couple is constantly arguing over various issues, ranging from financial priorities to leisure activities. The couple’s friends advise them to use manipulative tactics to win each argument, but this approach can ultimately lead to the breakdown of the marriage. Research shows that a deep and abiding friendship between partners is critical to marital satisfaction. Therefore, it is essential to lay down your arms and start looking at your spouse as someone you can work with.
The key to building a friendship with your partner is to commit to working together, side by side, towards common goals. Instead of focusing on individual priorities, you need to identify shared objectives and work collaboratively to achieve them. For example, if you both agree that paying down credit card debt and saving for the future is important, then focus on achieving these goals together, rather than arguing over which one should take priority.
To achieve this, you can start by making a list of your financial priorities and asking your spouse to do the same. Then, identify the goals that you both have in common and work together to develop a plan to achieve them. If you find that you cannot agree on the best approach, seek advice from a professional or someone who has successfully navigated similar challenges.
When you approach your partner as a friend and collaborator, rather than an enemy, your relationship will thrive, and your happiness together will grow. By committing to working together towards common goals, you can build a deep and abiding friendship with your partner, which is critical to a successful marriage.
Next, make a list of your financial priorities. Ask your spouse to do the same. Let’s say that “pay down credit cards” and “put aside for savings” are at the top of the list. What’s the goal both of those have in common? Assuring a more solid financial future. That’s something you can both agree on. You’re on the right track.
After that, instead of vying for credit cards versus savings, given the larger goal you and your mate seek, try to reason out what’s the best approach regarding your credit card debt and savings. If you can’t seem to figure it out for yourselves, rather than fight your marriage to death, get some advice from a professional, online or otherwise, or a friend/relative who’s done well with their money.
What’s important is to work your decision through together, focusing your efforts and attention on achieving your end goal – a more solid financial future – not on who wins this round.
When you stop treating your guy as an enemy, and approach him as you would a friend, preferably a best friend, your relationship thrives, and your happiness together can grow exponentially.